I chose to observe at a recent wedding that I
attended. There was a huge group
of people there that I have known for 26 years. I chose to observe my sister-in-law and niece. My sister-in-law is so good at
communicating with her daughter (she is three). My niece is one easy child, but occasionally acts very
appropriate for her age. This was her first wedding and my sister-in-law has
obviously talked with Ainsley before they came to the wedding. She reviewed that we could be silly now
but when people started to walk down the isle it was time to be quiet, Ainsley
had heard this before, she nodded her head in agreement. She was also allowed to play with the
doll she brought. When the
ceremony started, Ainsley no longer wanted to sit, she was allowed to go to the
floor with two rules, you have to be quiet and stay with us. She was on the floor trying to get our
attention, but my sister-in-law ignored or reminded the rules. Ainsley wasn’t scolded for being on the
floor; she was doing what she needed to do at the time but at the same time
adhering to the rules that her mom had provided her with before coming to the
wedding.
What was so good about this observation is that
Ainsley was given the expectations before she arrived and she knew them. She knew she needed to be quiet and
stay with us. Often I think that
parents and even teachers forget to review expectations and therefore you get
behaviors because children are not sure of the expectations.
This was a really good reminder for my how often I
need to review expectations in your general education classroom you review them
often but in my classroom is daily/hourly/every activity. I can notice the difference when I
review the expectations at each activity.
It changes everything. I
also just started extended school year with some of my students and we reviewed
those expectation at each new activity and it just goes so much smoother. It
gives the child some background to what they are going to be doing. There are times where, GASP, I forget
to go over expectations and then I get frustrated with students running all
over the place or hitting their neighbor.
Then I remind myself that I did not tell them what I wanted them to
do. We can learn a lot by
observing, especially a lot about ourselves.
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ReplyDeleteYou provided an excellent example of speaking the language children understand. I really think that your neice may have really tried your sister-in-law had she not done the prep talk before the services. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteI Love your example!! It reminded me of how important it is that children know their expectations! When they do not know our expectations we are setting children up to fail! Your sister-in-law does sound like a great communicator.She ignored behavior when it was needed and addressed behavior that needed to be addressed! Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great example of how adults/educators should compromise with young children, especially when it involves children having to attend events that are typically intended for adults. It is great that Ainsley was allowed to play on the floor with clear guidelines and rules but enough flexibility from her Mom to allow Ainsley to feel comfortable. This is also a great reminder that we as adults definitely need to remember to explain things to our children and set rules and guidelines in place and be sure our children understand! Great example.
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